Let's talk about Attitude

Today I want to talk about attitude. The dictionary defines attitude as “a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.” Our personal experiences form our attitudes. Are they genetic? Are they learned? Are they circumstantial? Are they within our control? Science and psychology aside, I want to tell you that your attitude is completely within your control and that is what is important!

Let’s talk about some of the steps you can take to change how you show up.

1. First, pause and realize how you are showing up.

2. Next, determine whether that is how you want to show up and

3. Finally, make the change, if you want to.

Sounds simple? Yes, but it’s not so simple. Especially when you are trying to get from an attitude of anger, powerlessness and self doubt to one that is more opportunistic, loving and empathetic. It’s difficult when circumstances are stacked against you, its hard not to be bitter, angry, annoyed, sad, all those emotions which result in an attitude that exudes behaviours that are not endearing. Attitudes that may get you short term results but leave you feeling deflated and empty. The catch 22 here is that these emotions that may come naturally to you when you are faced with adversity are the same emotions that are draining and create more stress.

The key to getting out of this chain reaction is to rationalize the cause of the stressor. Find a reason why someone behaved in a certain way, the reason why circumstances played out the way they did. Rationalization helps blunt the edge of anger and enables you to see more clearly. I did not know I was doing this but I did it for several years. I was the queen of rationalization! It’s how I was able to maintain my cool and come across as being reasonable. There is, however, a downside to remaining a rationalizer. You want to move beyond rationalization, use it as a stepping stone to get you to a place of peace, of solutions that are a win for all, and of empathy.

The result will be an attitude shift and you will show up differently, live a happier life with less stress and more calm. We only have control over our own reactions, not another’s actions.

In summary:

• Stop! and decide that you want to show up differently

• Rationalize the stressor to take the edge off your stress reaction

• Move into problem solving mode with a win-win solution in mind
  

I want to end with this quotation from an anonymous source that is so apt “If you want to be happy, put your effort into controlling the sail not the wind.”

Have fun experimenting!